You're Not Too Much. You Were Never Met Fully.

Understanding from the inside. Building forward from there.

Through coaching, facilitator, consultancy and lived experience insight, I help people and organisations understand what’s happening beneath behaviour, overwhelm, masking and survival – and what to do next.

 

BBC • ITV • The Big Issue • Hope for Justice • Hestia • Bright Future Co-operative • WMASN VOICE

Speaker • Facilitator • Lived Experience Consultant • Creator of Inner First & JFAI

Work recognised by Dr Janina Fisher, internationally recognised trauma specialist.

Lived Experience Shapes Everything I Build

My work is shaped by lived experience of survival, neurodivergence and systems that failed to fully understand what was happening underneath.

Inner First and JFA were built from understanding what happens when people are forced to survive in systems that never fully understood them in the first place.

You're In The Right Place. Here's Where To Go.

For Organisations & Professionals

You work in systems where behaviour is constantly interpreted – safeguarding, trauma-informed practice, lived experience work and neurodivergent inclusion.

You need training, facilitation and consultancy that changes not just what people know, but how they understand what’s happening underneath behaviour in the first place.

I provide training, keynote speaking and lived experience consultancy across modern slavery, human trafficking, sexual violence, children in care and neurodivergent inclusion.

If you’re looking for insight-led training grounded in both lived experience and original theory – or a speaker, facilitator or consultant who helps people understand more accurately and respond more effectively – you’re in the right place.

For Individuals

You’ve tried the frameworks. The advice. The systems designed for a brain you don’t have. And you keep arriving back at the beginning – it isn’t because you didn’t try hard enough, but because nothing you tried was built for the way your nervous system actually works.

Whether you found me through the Dating on High Alert podcast, through You’re Welcome, or because someone said “she gets it” – you’re in the right place.

I work 1:1 with ADHD, Autism and AuDHD adults, survivors, partners who want to genuinely understand, and couples navigating the gap between two very different nervous systems.

 

You don't need to feel ready to begin

You Need A Different Way To Start

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If nothing else has worked…this might be why.

Meet Ilja Abbattista

I help people who've tried everything understand why nothing has worked - and what to do instead.

I was the child nobody reached in time. Now I build the things I wish had existed for others.

After years of being told to:

Think differently.

Feel differently.

Work on your mindset…

But nothing fully worked.

It wasn’t because you failed.

You were trying to follow instructions that were never built for your nervous system in the first place.

"Words That Landed"

Hear What They’re Saying