What to Do When You’re Triggered by a Trauma Story

And How I Came Back

A few days ago, I woke up full of energy. I had plans, a clear mind, and a sense of motivation. I felt strong and ready for the day.

While checking my messages and emails, a LinkedIn post caught my eye. A fellow survivor had commented on a podcast episode, and something about it pulled me in. The guest was a Dutch woman, which sparked curiosity. Maybe I wanted to see if her story resembled mine.

Usually, I avoid survivor stories. It’s not that I don’t care — I care deeply. But I feel things intensely. I absorb emotions, and I’ve learned to protect myself with boundaries.

That day, though, I didn’t check in with myself. I didn’t pause. I didn’t prepare. I clicked play.

And just like that, I was triggered.

This story wasn’t just emotional — it was one of the most distressing I’d ever heard. My heart pounded. My body froze. My mind raced. I messaged the survivor to thank her for her courage. I admired the podcast hosts, too — both survivors themselves. But even with all that admiration, I felt shaken.

I shut down completely.

I didn’t answer phone calls. I ignored emails. I let the knock at my door go unanswered.

It was like my nervous system had shut off.

I sat frozen on the sofa, feeling like something heavy was pressing me down. My thoughts were loud and chaotic. I even searched for dark documentaries — like I needed proof I wasn’t alone in my trauma. I’ve done this before. It’s not voyeurism. It’s something else. Maybe a way to feel seen in a strange, painful way.

Eventually, I went to bed early. I just wanted the day to end.

The next morning, I woke up slowly. I still felt the emotional hangover from the day before. But I had a choice to make: stay stuck or begin the climb back.

So I did what I’ve learned to do:

• I contacted people who ground me.
• I got in the shower.
• I got dressed.
• I stepped outside.
• I drank water.
• I whispered to myself, “You are safe.”

It wasn’t instant. But it helped. Bit by bit, I felt more like myself again.

Now, a few days later, I still feel the bruise in my mind — but I’m proud of how I moved through it.

Because ten years ago, this would have taken me out for weeks. Today, I have tools. I have awareness. And I have boundaries — even if I forget them now and then.

To my future self: check in first. Don’t press play without preparing. And if you do, create safety.

To anyone who has been unexpectedly triggered: You are not alone. Your feelings are valid. Take the time you need. You don’t have to explain your response to anyone.

I’m here if you need someone. Always.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your story — or simply hold space for you. Feel free to reach out to me at empowerher@ilja-abbattista.com or subscribe to my mailing list to stay connected. You’re not alone.

If you’re looking for additional support or trusted resources, I highly recommend visiting Survivor Alliance, an incredible organisation led by and for survivors.

Here’s a blog post about my own journey.