I’m Not Too Much — I Was Just Never Met Fully

For the woman who overthinks, spirals, and shape-shifts to be loved
By Ilja Abbattista

There was a time I thought I was too much.

Too sensitive. Too reactive. Too intense. Too loud.
Too deep, too quick. Too “emotional” for the people around me.

And so, like so many women carrying ADHD, trauma, or big nervous systems – I learned to shrink.
To mask. To adapt. To manage other people’s discomfort instead of meeting my own needs.

Sound familiar?

When You’re Told You’re “Too Much” — You Start Editing Yourself

You make yourself smaller in conversations.
You delay your truth.
You tone down your joy.
You hide your spirals.
You soften your needs.
You stop asking for what hurts because you don’t want to lose what’s left.

Until one day, you don’t even know what’s you and what’s performance anymore.

You Were Never Too Much. You Were Just Misunderstood.

No one ever taught us that:

• Our brains might process emotions differently.
• Our trauma might scream for reassurance in the form of panic texts.
• Our nervous systems are overloaded, not broken.

So we learned to survive in systems that didn’t see us.
To date, love, work, and parent while carrying shame for just being ourselves.

But I’m not carrying that anymore.
And if you’re reading this — I don’t want you to carry it either.

This Space is for You — The Woman Who Feels Everything Deeply

I created this blog, my voice-notes, my coaching and my podcast for women like you.

Women who:

• Spiral, but always come back.
• Want to love without disappearing.
• Need truth more than they need polish.
• Are learning to meet themselves where no one else ever did.

Because here’s what I know now:

You were never too much.
You just needed to be met fully.
And now you can learn to meet yourself, fully too.

💌 Want More of This?

If this spoke to something inside you, I’d love to keep sharing real, grounding truths — in your inbox, at your pace, with no pressure.

I write like I speak — voice-led, raw, honest, and sometimes funny in a “we’ve been through some shit” kind of way.

👉 Pop your email below and I’ll send the first one soon.
Just real talk, reminders you’re not alone, and a few reframes that might save your day.

Yes, I’m in — Send me the first truth-drop

ADHD is different for women

ADHD in women is often misunderstood — this article from Healthline explains why in a clear and compassionate way.